At the moment I’m looking again at my stammer/ stutter, and my feeling and emotions about it.
In the 1970s, Dr. Joseph Sheenan characterized a stammer as an iceberg, with the relatively ‘small’ visible indications of the struggle of stuttering above the surface, and a great weight of negative thoughts and emotions that build up beneath.
For me the visible traits are:
- Blocking — this is the basic character of my stammer now, and has been for a long time;
- Repetition — I don’t do much of this now — I did a lot when I was younger (the classic “p-p-please”);
- Physical tension — in my neck, shoulders, jaw …;
- Avoidance — I try to do less of this — avoiding situations (e.g. phone calls), sounds, words;
The invisible baggage:
- Anger — less of this now, I’m glad to say;
- Resentment — I’m trying to reduce this;
- Denial — I don’t think I’ve told people, or myself, how much my stammer has shaped me, and my life, and how unhappy it’s made me feel at times;
- Frustration — some;
- Shame, hopelessness, anxiety … — a problem when I was in my teens, less now?!
- Isolation — again, in my pre-teens, teens, twenties … I have more support now;
- Self-reproach — I only thought of this recently!
- Fear — maybe some lingers?
Does this help you?
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